I hate the feeling of failing. I suppose I am sensitive to the idea. I understand that we cannot be great or necessarily good at everything we do, but failing at something is the worst feeling there is. For me I feel like I have disappointed others as well as myself. And that is how someone will remember me. Something inside me drops and then I am almost scared to think about picking myself up and trying again for the simple feeling that I might fail again. I am 37 years old and I have this feeling.
Then I think what kids feel like. When you are little you will try anything. No fear of failure. You just do it! Something happens as we get older. We fear it. We fear the embarrassment, the disappointment, the feeling of realizing that we can't do something we thought we could.
I don't want my students to ever feel that way in my classes. I never want them to walk in here and think they can't before they even try. If they try I want them to understand that making the effort is more important than the success. Because they don't realize that their effort is their success. I don't care if what they create is the most amazing thing or the worst thing I have ever seen. I care that they tried and they did it! To me that is the success.
The first assignment in Photo II is to use and create water as an element in potography. The first assignment was to photograph water and use our programs to tweak it, so to speak. The second was to research online how to create/alter water in photoshop. This has been a technical struggle for the students, but I am enjoying the fact that they are truly making an effort to make it through the assignment successfully.
Our second project of the year....recycled denim bags. I am laughing because all I heard yesterday from the former students of Mrs. Propst's sewing courseswere, she would not like how you were doing this! I laughed and laughed as I told them , I know she would not, but we are focusing on what were are going to do with it once it is made! Thank you Mrs. Propst for teaching the right way! And thanks to my kids for learning the right way! And ironically as I am finishing this blog, she walks in the room ;)
I swore that as soon as school started back in January, I would make it a point to begin putting in a blog every single day, even if it were a small one. So how's that going for me....ahhh not so great. But I am determined as ever to start up again. Between being sick and snow days, there really hasn't been enough time in the day. I find myself here, heading to my daughter's various school functions, home to make dinner and sadly in bed by 8:30. what a life I lead.
This new semester has proven to be a unique challenge for me. One I place on myself, but it is actually working out well. I decided to make spring a time for change in my curriculum. I decided to write my new lessons to follow the changes implemented by the state next year and follow that, so that I can tweak it now and be solid next year. So in a nutshell the kids are my guinea pigs. I laugh sometimes when I start a new project, especially in my semester art 1 class which is being taught as an art history class. I honestly look like I don't know what I am doing. They see it and I see it and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. But it will get better and I will get better.
Right now we are finishing a project in Egyptian Art and beginning the study of Greek and Roman architecture. But how I have approached the class is a little different because rather than focusing on the facts, etc., we talk about the styles and the art a little and then create a project that reflects on the idea. This one, however, I am taking and running with as the kids are working in google sketchup. It is a drawing program, a free download from google. I told the kids upfront, " I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT IT!" and then I informed them, by the end, they would be teaching me. Yesterday was the first day and as I played with it, I could barely make a wall, as my students were already adding doors and windows to their creations. Wow. But that goes to show you that you cannot be afraid to fail as a teacher. You have to be willing to step out of your comfort areas sometimes and let it roll. I think that this will turn out ok.